Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
