What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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