Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
