i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
