Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
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He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
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those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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