Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
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Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
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At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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