Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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