So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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