I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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