he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
