You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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