Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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