if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
