I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Randomize
