Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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