...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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