there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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