The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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