Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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