their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
