Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
