its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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