you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
organizing the empties. That sober.
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Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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