she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
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