3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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