Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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