After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
...so i touched it.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
