I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
