call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
