wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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