He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
