what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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