So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
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