I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Acid is not a monday night drug
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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