When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize