I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
