that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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