everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
