i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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