She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize