But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
