WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
3 2 1 whiskey
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
