Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
well, you know. whores of a feather.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
