My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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