brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
