I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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