You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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