The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I don't think brook has ever known best
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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