I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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