worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
