you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Randomize
