just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
