Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
