I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
