If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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