I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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