why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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