Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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