That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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