Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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